Be Your Biggest Fan

Be Your Own Biggest Fan: The Key to Leading a Vibrant, Purposeful Life

When I set up what a popular social media site used to call a "fan page," there was a tip suggesting I be the first to sign up for my fan club. It seemed so obvious in hindsight, but I hadn't immediately thought of it.

That advice stuck with me—not just for social media, but for life itself. Now I'm an evangelist for self-love and celebrating your wins.

If I want others to believe in me, I have to believe in myself first. This principle applies to so many areas of life, from relationships to careers and even personal wellness. Let’s explore how being your own first fan can change everything.

1. When You're Looking for Love

Recommended Reads:

• You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

• Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling

If you’re searching for a new relationship, the most crucial step is to love yourself first. Yes, you’ve heard it before, but it’s worth repeating because it’s often easier said than done.

✨ “You will never speak to anyone more than yourself in your head. Be kind to yourself.” —Unknown

A healthy relationship starts with a healthy sense of self. No emotionally stable person is drawn to desperation or self-pity. Instead, they’re attracted to confidence, vibrancy, and self-assuredness.

Start small: treat yourself as you would want a loving partner to treat you. Enjoy activities solo, whether it’s savoring a nice meal, taking a walk in nature, or going to see a play or movie. For instance, I’ve found immense joy in going to musicals alone when friends aren’t available—it’s freeing and gives me a unique perspective on the experience. Plus, it’s much easier to snag a great last-minute seat when it’s just you!

Your inner dialogue also matters. Replace self-criticism with affirmations. Silence that voice highlighting your flaws and amplify the one that celebrates your strengths. As Flora Morris Brown wisely said:

✨ “People learn how to treat you by watching how you treat yourself.”

2. When You're Job Hunting

Recommended Reads:

• What Color Is Your Parachute? by Richard N. Bolles

• The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

• Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Job hunting isn’t just about finding a paycheck; it’s about finding a match between your strengths and opportunities to shine. Take a moment to assess your skills and determine where you can grow.

✨ “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” —Arthur Ashe

I recall applying for a teaching position decades ago when the job description noted, “Computer skills preferred.” Fast-forward to today, and basic computer proficiency is non-negotiable. If you’ve been out of the workforce for even a few years, it’s likely time to refresh or upgrade your skills. From creating spreadsheets to navigating social media, staying tech-savvy is essential.

Don’t hesitate to take a class or two. Libraries, community colleges, and online platforms offer affordable ways to learn new skills. Remember, every step you take builds confidence, and confidence radiates during interviews.

3. When You're Starting a Business

Recommended Reads:

• Start with Why by Simon Sinek

• The Lean Startup by Eric Ries

• Building a StoryBrand by Donald Miller

If your first thought about starting a business is how much money you’ll make, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. While profits are important, you will attract them when your passion and purpose shine through and you offer authentic and caring product or service.

Consider this: would you buy coffee from someone who openly complains about hating the business? I wouldn’t. On the flip side, a passionate barista who chats about the unique beans they use or the care they take in every brew is someone I’d return to. One great example of success through passion is Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx. She believed in her product so much that she spent years perfecting it and pitching it to retailers, eventually transforming her innovative idea into a billion-dollar company. Her story is a testament to how enthusiasm and persistence can create something extraordinary.

Choose a product or service you’re passionate about. Believe in it fully. Become your own biggest cheerleader, not just for others but to remind yourself why you started. Your enthusiasm is contagious and will inspire others to buy in.

Equally important is seeking and nurturing relationships. Offer help and valuable information without expecting anything in return at first. Build genuine connections with others by sharing your knowledge, assisting with their challenges, or simply being a supportive presence. Over time, these relationships may naturally evolve into customers or colleagues. Strong, authentic relationships create trust and loyalty, both of which are invaluable in business.

4. When You're Seeking Good Health

Recommended Reads:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

• The Blue Zones Solution by Dan Buettner

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Good health is more than just eating well or exercising regularly—it’s about taking charge of your own well-being. To truly be your own first fan, you need to become an active advocate for your health. This means:

• Researching your health plan and treatment options: Understand what your health plan covers and how to access the care you need.

• Joining support groups: Connect with others who share similar health challenges to gain insight and emotional support.

• Seeking multiple opinions: Before agreeing to any major surgeries or drug regimens, consult different professionals to ensure you’re making informed decisions.

• Learning about your medications: Know the names, purposes, and side effects of any drugs you’re prescribed. Don’t hesitate to ask questions and advocate for alternatives if necessary.

• Completing an advance directive: Ensure that your medical wishes are documented in case you are unable to speak for yourself. Share this information with your family and loved ones so they are informed of your conditions and decisions.

• Caring for your mental and emotional well-being: Prioritize adequate rest, sleep, hydration, and physical movement. Incorporate mindfulness, meditation, and spiritual practices that align with your beliefs to manage stress and build resilience. 

Your health journey should be proactive. For example, if a doctor suggests a new medication, take time to ask, “Are there lifestyle changes I could make that would address this issue instead?” Or, “What’s the long-term impact of this treatment?” Informed patients make better decisions, feel more in control, may heal without medication/surgery and likely to live longer.

Finally, celebrate the small victories—whether it’s taking a brisk walk, drinking more water, or completing a wellness check-up. Learn how to check your essential vital signs regularly rather than waiting for annual checkups. Each small step reinforces your commitment to being your own first advocate.

The Takeaway

Take a look at the endeavors you’re pursuing right now. Are you your own first fan?

If not, it’s time to reassess. Believe in your value, act with confidence, and invest in your growth.

Make time to journal or engage in self-reflection to gain clarity on your goals and progress. This practice can help you uncover areas where you need to cheer yourself on more and identify opportunities for growth. Others will follow your lead, but first, you have to lead yourself.

Most of all, when you succeed at attracting the love, job, business and good health, CELEBRATE!
You were probably raised to be modest, humble, and maybe even self-effaicng. So was I and many others. Forget that! 

It’s not selfish to love, appreciate and cheer for yourself and your wins—it’s essential.

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While you're at it, write about your wins in your journal and/or life story to keep you encouraged for other challenges sure to come your way.  If this sounds great, but scary, get my free guide to dispel your any fears and push you to the starting line at 7 Reasons You Have Trouble Writing Your Life Story