Are You Missing the Beam?

[Image generated by DALL-E in ChatGPT 4o]

At the end of a longitudinal study about the spread of happiness in a social network, a reader commented:

"In another more distant time, I was quite depressed, and found that walking up a corridor the automatic door would not open for me, although it would for anyone else walking up the same corridor … This happened over some weeks and did little for my self-esteem. It was only later that I realised that I was walking along the edge of the corridor, and the others were walking confidently in the centre and that I was missing the beam. "

Could this be why we miss the good that is available for us?

Staying along the fringes can cause us to miss the source of our good if we were in line with them. Anyone already suffering from low self-esteem or depression doesn’t need much to confirm what they already believe to be true.

What  if we positioned ourselves to receive the good we want so we don’t miss the beam?

Here are three things that have worked for me.

1. Do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

This Golden Rule is so universal that various versions of it are found in over 21 religions.
Here are a few.

• Judaism: "What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. This is the law: all the rest is commentary.” Talmud, Shabbat 31a.

• Sufism: “The basis of Sufism is consideration of the hearts and feelings of others. If you haven’t the will to gladden someone’s heart, then at least beware lest you hurt someone’s heart, for on our path, no sin exists but this.” Dr. Javad Nurbakhsh, Master of the Nimatullahi Sufi Order.

• Yoruba: (Nigeria): “One going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts.”

• Native American Spirituality: “Do not wrong or hate your neighbor. For it is not he who you wrong, but yourself.” Pima proverb. None of these sayings suggest you be a doormat or let others use you. But extending kindness or refusing to knowingly hurt another, has a greater effect on you than it does on others.

2. Give what you want to receive.

I once shared with my youngest sister that I had received a card from one of our childhood friends. She quickly shot back at me, “I never hear from any of those people.” To which I asked, “How many times have you written to them?”

She hadn’t kept in touch with our childhood friends over the years, and yet she wondered why she hadn’t received the very thing she hadn’t given.

Are you guilty of wanting to receive what you’re not willing to give?

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
(Luke 6:38 NIV)

3. Act as if

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it.” William James

This is a tough one for me, but it has worked for me more than once, not just in terms of qualities, but things as well.

Many years ago when I wanted to end a 37-mile commute and move closer to my new job, I spent every weekend combing the classifieds and traveling to model homes in new developments and older homes in established neighborhoods.

My plan was to find the home I wanted and then begin plans to sell my then current home.

One Sunday evening as I returned from house-searching, I heard a very clear voice say, “You don’t really want to move!”

It startled me since we were still unloading the car, and it was clearly not my kids’ voices.

“What are you talking about?” I thought back to the voice in protest. “I DO want to move!”

“No, if you really wanted to move, you’d sell your house first.”

I don’t know which was more shocking–-a voice speaking to me, or the thought of selling my house before I even had the next house in sight.

But I was soon convinced that this was a clue that I had to act as if the house I wanted was already mine.

So, I proceeded to put my house up for sale. It was a scary move, but I was convinced that it was the thing to do.

From the moment the For Sale sign went up, a series of events began to unfold. The most miraculous of which was a friend calling to offer to sell me a house she had inherited that was within ten miles of my job.

The remaining events unfolded like the script in a play. Within seven months my house was sold, my new home was out of escrow and I was moving into my new home two weeks before summer vacation ended and my teaching job resumed.

If these three ways of getting in line with your good don’t ring true to you, think instead of your cell phone, digital TV or wireless internet service.

No matter how great your equipment, surely you will agree that it must be in an area where signals are present, and you must be aligned to receive those signals.

Like our devices, we must be aligned with a source as well.

It doesn’t matter what you call your source: God, Jehovah, higher being, Mother Nature, science, or destiny.

Acknowledge,  believe in, and align with your source to ensure you don't miss the beam.

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